Father of the Bride
by AshiraRose-Leigh
Summary: This little fanfic is based off the play I'm currently producing with a local community theater group. I didn't really know where to place it so I just went with Dissidia and Kingdom Hearts as most of the characters our from the Final Fantasy and Kingdom Hearts universes. Happy Reading! Also I don't own the artwork. It's by smzeldarules. Head over to deviantart and support please!
1. Act 1 Scene 1

Father of the Bride

As told by Final Fantasy

ACT I

SCENE 1

It's a beautiful Sunday morning in the Leonhart

house. Laguna sits at the breakfast table in the

kitchen reading the paper, his wife Aerith puts a

plate of toast down on the table before sitting

across from him. Sora, the youngest, is the first

to join them.

SORA

Morning Mom, Morning Pop!

LAGUNA

Morning son.

Sora sits down at the table about to get a piece

of toast when his mother smacks his hand.

AERITH

Sora your hair is a mess. Did you even comb it out?

SORA

It's fine mom. Hey dad can I get the comics.

LAGUNA

May I have the comics?

SORA

May I have the comics? (Laguna looks over at him with

his famous dad stare) Please?

AERITH

After you've combed your hair.

SORA

Oh mom...

LAGUNA

And washed you face.

SORA

Fine!

Sora gets up from the table and heads for the

bathroom.

AERITH

Would you like more coffee dear?

Laguna slides his cup across the table and goes

back to his paper. Aerith smiles, shakes her head

and gets up to pour Laguna another cup.

LAGUNA

Babe, where's Yuffie?

AERITH

Still upstairs as far as I know, why dear?

LAGUNA

Has she been acting strange to you?

AERITH

Strange?

LAGUNA

Like she's in a daze or something.

AERITH

Maybe she's in love.

LAGUNA

Nonsense

Sora renters the room and sits back down at the

table.

LAGUNA

Who would she be in love with?

SORA

Reno

LAGUNA

Never heard of him.

AERITH

Oh yes you have. Don't try to be stupid.

SORA

She got that goofy look when she started dating him.

AERITH

Now Sora...

LAGUNA

You don't mean that annoying redhead do you?

SORA

THAT'S HIM!

AERITH

Sora quite down.

LAGUNA

I don't like him.

AERITH

You've never met him dear.

SORA

He's an all right guy.

AERITH

Let's let Yuffie work things out for herself.

LAGUNA

I'm not interfering!

AERITH

Yes dear.

LAGUNA

You're the one who's always worrying.

AERITH

Of course.

LAGUNA

You're the one who says she's in love with

what's-his-name.

SORA

Reno Pops

LAGUNA

It was all you; I just asked what was wrong.

AERITH

Oh Laguna...

LAGUNA

I only asked.

SORA

Man Pops you use to worry cuz she went out with too

many guys. Now your worried cuz she's only dating the

one?

LAGUNA

I did not.

AERITH

It's true Laguna.

LAGUNA

She's too young; she's practically a child.

SORA

She's twenty-one!

AERITH

Sora please your not helping.

Squall enters the room from upstairs.

SQUALL

Morning Mom

(He walks over and gives Aerith a kiss

on the check)

Morning Pop

(Turns to Sora)

Squirt. What's going on?

SORA

Pops knows.

SQUALL

Knows what?

AERITH

Your father's just a little worried about Yuffie.

SQUALL

She seems fine to me.

SORA

Reno numbskull!

AERITH

Sora!

SQUALL

He's an okay guy.

LAGUNA

All at once I'm told my daughter is in love with an

annoying goon with red-hair and no conversation.

SQUALL

He conversats just fine.

AERITH

Laguna calm down. You'll give yourself a headache.

SORA

You don't mind Squall being in love with Rinoa.

SQUALL

Leave her out of this.

SORA

Plus you've had that dopey look long enough he's used

to it by now.

SQUALL

And what about you and Riku.

SORA

WHAT ABOUT ME AND RIKU!

AERITH

Sora honestly.

SORA

Personally I think all this love stuff is a bunch of

crap.

SQUALL

HA!

AERITH

Will you two please...

LAGUNA

I'm inclined to agree with Sora.

AERITH

Laguna!

SORA

See now?

SQUALL

I repeat-HA!

LAGUNA

All this going about looking like your Joan of Arc

hearing voices...

Yuffie dances into the kitchen and goes to pour

herself a cup of coffee.

YUFFIE

Good Morning Everyone!

LAGUNA

Good morning, my dear.

YUFFIE

Is something wrong daddy?

LAGUNA

Nothing

AERITH

He didn't sleep well love, would you like some toast?

YUFFIE

Oh no thanks; I'm not all that hungry.

SORA

See goofy!

SQUALL

It does that to you sometimes.

YUFFIE

What are you two talking about?

SQUALL

Takes away your appetite... can't sleep...

YUFFIE

Squally answer me.

SORA

L-O-V-E love.

(Yuffie giggles)

LAGUNA

There is no reason why a healthy young girl shouldn't

eat her breakfast.

YUFFIE

I'm old enough to know when I'm hungry! Daddy why are

you looking at me like that.

LAGUNA

Because I'm seeing you with two pig-tails and a dirty

face in a pair of overalls... about so high.

YUFFIE

Mommy what's wrong with daddy?

AERITH

I told you he didn't sleep well.

SORA

My left foot...

(he mumbles)

AERITH

Was that really years ago? It seems like yesterday.

SQUALL

Pull yourself together Pops; it's not that big a deal.

AERITH

Anyone want more coffee?

(In unison)

LAGUNA

No thanks

SQUALL

None for me

SORA

I don't drink coffee!

(Aerith sighs)

YUFFIE

Oh before I forget, I'm not going to be here tonight.

AERITH

Where are you off to dear?

YUFFIE

I'm spending the night with Reno.

SORA

Bow-chica-wow-wow

YUFFIE

We're having dinner with his parents!

AERITH

That's nice dear. Sora finish your breakfast!

LAGUNA

Yuffie you act like your going to marry this character.

The room went silent for a few moments.

YUFFIE

Can't hide anything from you can I?

(She pulls on the chain around her neck

to reveal her engagement ring.)

(In unison)

SQUALL

Congads

SORA

Grrreatttt...

AERITH

Oh Sora hush! Yuffie dear when are you planning on

getting married.

YUFFIE

I don't know mommy, he just purposed last night. We're

not in any hurry and we wont be pinned down.

LAGUNA

Well I hope you won't feel too pinned down if I ask a

few questions?

SORA

Here we go!

SQUALL

Pops come on; it's their business.

YUFFIE

It's fine, a bit old fashioned...

LAGUNA

I just want to know Yuff. To start... who the hell is

this Reno anyway?

YUFFIE

Daddy!

LAGUNA

And what is his last name? Hope it's better than his

first?

YUFFIE

I don't have to take this ya know!

LAGUNA

And where in Gaia is he from?

SORA

Get him- right then a left to the jaw!

AERITH

Sora!

LAGUNA

And who does he think is going to support him?

SQUALL

Can I go now?

YUFFIE

I don't like you attitude Dad!

LAGUNA

If he thinks I'm going to support him he's got another

thing coming.

AERITH

Laguna enough!

YUFFIE

I'm twenty-one and Reno's Twenty-three! We're grown

people and you have no right...

LAGUNA

Oh I have a right! You are my daughter and a mere child.

YUFFIE

I am not!

SORA

And a right to the body, a left to the face.

AERITH

Sora I swear...

LAGUNA

A man tries to have a quiet Sunday breakfast and all at

once his only daughter tells him she's going to marry

some character.

YUFFIE

Stop calling him names!

LAGUNA

But they have no clue when they're getting married and

they're going to live on air.

YUFFIE

Reno wouldn't let anybody support him. He'd die first.

He wouldn't come to you for help even if we were

starving in the gutter.

LAGUNA

Oh that's a great comfort!

AERITH

Everyone calm down please.

SQUALL

No ones starving in the gutter.

LAGUNA

I said nothing about gutters!

SORA

He's down for the count. One-two-three out!

AERITH

SORA ROOM NOW!

Sora huffs out of the kitchen and upstairs to his

room. Yuffie takes a seat in the newly vacant

spot.

YUFFIE

Reno is a wonderful business man and had a wonderful

job.

LAGUNA

Doing what?

YUFFIE

He... makes something or other... yeah.

(Laguna stares at her)

Oh does it even matter?

LAGUNA

Yes it matters.

YUFFIE

Well I don't know.

LAGUNA

Oh for the love of Leviathan. Just tell me what his

last name is.

EVERYONE

Dunstan!

YUFFIE

And his mother and father are just as good as you and

mom and they live in Midgar which is good a place as

any... and stop calling him names!

LAGUNA

Mr. Dunstan "makes" something-or-other- won't be pinned

down.

SQUALL

Can't say I blame him.

AERITH

Dear please try and be reasonable.

LAGUNA

And he lives in Midgar... of all places, and he's

wonderful.

AERITH

You don't know the boy.

YUFFIE

He's now a boy- he's a man- and this is strictly our

business and...

LAGUNA

One day a man has a little girl in pigtails who skins

her knee and goes through his pockets for chewing gum,

next thing he knows she wants to marry a stranger who

makes something-or-other and it's strictly her

business...

Laguna gets up from the table. He walks down the

hall to his study. Yuffie follows.

YUFFIE

Daddy... please don't be so unreasonable.

LAGUNA

I'm trying love, it's just...

YUFFIE

Really he's a great guy. Please daddy...

LAGUNA

Alright Yuffie darling, I love him already. What did

you say his name was again?

Just then the doorbell is rung to the final

fantasy victory tune.

YUFFIE

That's Reno

(She goes to exit the study)

Remember daddy, Dunstan.

(She runs down the hall to the front

door. Aerith turns into the doorway)

AERITH

Mrs. Reno Dunstan... I think it's quite distinguished.

LAGUNA

You would. I hope she know's what she's doing.

YUFFIE

Hello there you.

RENO

Hello yourself Babe.

AERITH

Come along Laguna... and try to behave.

Laguna and Aerith join Yuffie and Reno in the

living room. Squall remains at his sit in the

kitchen while Sora sneaks down to see who has come

to visit.

AERITH

Hello Reno, I'm Aerith... Yuffie's mother.

RENO

Nice to meet ya.

(He gives her a kiss on the cheek)

AERITH

And this is Laguna.

YUFFIE

My dad.

LAGUNA

So I hear you're going to be a member of the family.

We must try to get to know each other better.

RENO

Yeah...

SQUALL

(Calling from the kitchen)

Good Luck Reno!

RENO

Thanks Man!

SORA

(Rushing into the living room from his

hiding spot)

Well I think you're crazy! But if you had to, she's not

bad- for a girl.

YUFFIE

Oh Sora. It's okay, you don't have to...

SORA

Don't you dare! Uh... excuse me I uh promised I'd meet

up with... Bye!

RENO

What's with him?

AERITH

Oh never mind, please sit down. Make yourself at home.

Would you like some coffee?

RENO

No thanks

LAGUNA

Cigarette?

(Reno reached out for the cigarette only

to have his hand snatched away by

Yuffie)

YUFFIE

Reno doesn't smoke daddy, right Reno.

RENO

Heh, no thanks Mr. Leonhart

AERITH

Oh we're so excited, Reno dear tell us your plans.

RENO

Plans?

AERITH

For the wedding of course.

YUFFIE

Mom...

AERITH

Oh we could get Miss Farron, Mr. Leonhart's secretary

to help with the announcements...

RENO

Well you see...

YUFFIE

Mom I told you already, we have no plans right now. We

don't need Miss Farron. It's a wedding not a business.

LAGUNA

But you do plan to get married?

YUFFIE

Dad...

AERITH

How about a date? Have you set a date yet?

YUFFIE

We- Don't- Know

RENO

We just thought we'd just get married when the spirits

moved us ya know?

YUFFIE

With no fuss, no effort, just super simply.

AERITH

But darling...

YUFFIE

You don't have to lift a finger mommy; it's me and Reno

getting married not you and dad. We'll arrange it and

that's that.

LAGUNA

Well thank Heaven for that!

AERITH

Yuffie dear let me hear from Reno please.

RENO

Well... um... we wouldn't want a lot of trappings I

just thought.

AERITH

So you wouldn't be getting married in a church?

RENO

Wait what... no we do. But I thought we could just

drive around till we found a nice little church with

lots of ivy and maybe someone to play the piano or

something. Just walk down the aisle hand in hand.

YUFFIE

Without anyone?

RENO

Well whoever was there Babe.

YUFFIE

And no wedding dress?

LAGUNA

I think he's got something...

YUFFIE

But... Reno...

RENO

That's just how I feel, yo. It's between me and Yuff

and... well... the gods. I love Yuffie and I want to

pledge myself to take care of her and...

YUFFIE

Oh Reno, you're so sweet.

RENO

I just don't see why every Loz, Yazoo and Kadaj has to

gawk at me in a monkey suit like some tribal exhibit.

LAGUNA

Now I know he's got something. It's just as silly and

primitive as...

AERITH

Laguna hush!

LAGUNA

Well it is. Beat all the drums. Put on the feathers.

Everyone come see! The chief is going to put a ring in

Reno's nose! Come watch or it isn't legal.

YUFFIE

Daddy!

RENO

That's it exactly. Kind of disgusting standing up there

with everyone staring at you. I think it's more sacred

if it's just the two of us.

LAGUNA

Nobody cares about it being sacred... it's a free show

with free eats.

RENO

But I want it to be sacred. I mean with the way I feel

about Yuffie and all... that's private. It belongs to

me and Yuff and I don't get why it has to get turned

into a circus. The way I see it, if a man can't have a

few private things in like than why bother. And Yuffie

agrees with me.

AERITH

But she would make such a beautiful bride...

RENO

I just thought that some morning when the sun is

shining... we'll get in the car. Maybe she'll have on

those tan short shorts

(Yuffie pulls away from Reno and moves

across the room. She stares into the

fire place)

and I'll say "this is it babe" and she'll look at me

and say "yeah, this is it" and will just drive till we

find that church.

LAGUNA

The one with the Ivy?

RENO

Yep, and we'll just take each other's hands and walk on

in. Isn't that right Yuff...

(He looks around to see her across the

room. He back turned to him. Aerith

moves from her seat to join her)

Yuffie... babe what's wrong?

YUFFIE

Nothing

(she starts to cry)

AERITH

Oh hun there there, don't cry.

LAGUNA

For Heaven sake...

RENO

But you said that's what you wanted babe.

LAGUNA

Listen, Reno...

(Laguna takes Reno by the arm and leads

him into the dinning room)

RENO

But she said...

LAGUNA

I know I know. But you can't always go by what they

say.

RENO

You can't... But then how do you know?

LAGUNA

You don't, but you'll learn.

RENO

Yuffie

(He moves back into the living room and

up to Yuffie and Aerith)

Babe listen... just tell me what's wrong?

YUFFIE

Nothing... just... a girl waits all her life for a

wedding dress!

AERITH

You'd think you were ashamed of her. All this sneaking

off in a car.

RENO

Ashamed? No way, I think she's the most beautiful girl

in all of Gaia.

YUFFIE

Lot of good it does to be beautiful with two awful

witnesses from the street...

LAGUNA

You'd best settle for that ring through your nose.

RENO

Babe please... I thought you wanted it simple.

YUFFIE

I do just not that simple! Short shorts! Is that all

you think of me?

RENO

No...

AERITH

Besides that's not simple- that's surreptitious!

RENO

Surrep-what?

LAGUNA

Aerith leave it alone.

AERITH

No! This is the greatest moment in Yuffie's life. And

when a mother has a daughter as lovely as Yuffie she

wants a chance to show her off a little.

LAGUNA

Whoever said women were civilized?

RENO

Yuffie, I don't get it. What do you want?

AERITH

She wants a nice quiet little wedding in her own

church!

RENO

Is that it babe?

YUFFIE

Uh-huh... with a pretty dress

AERITH

And a few of the girls she grew up with as bridesmaids

YUFFIE

Just a few of my closest friends, a handful really.

AERITH

And a very intimate supper here afterwards.

YUFFIE

Oh mommy, how did you know?

AERITH

Because that's what every girl wants.

RENO

Yeah?

LAGUNA

Afraid so...

YUFFIE

Maybe around the tenth of June?

LAGUNA

"Don't pin me down," she says!

AERITH

At Saint George's...

RENO

Whatever you want Babe.

AERITH

So she can remember it all her life.

RENO

All right all right. Whatever my Yuffie wants.

YUFFIE

Oh! Darling!

(she jumps up into Reno's arms)

LAGUNA

Here we go. Too bad, son

RENO

Uh... Thanks?

LAGUNA

I really liked that ivy-covered chapel while it lasted.

YUFFIE

But it will be simply Reno, promise.

AERITH

Oh yes, beautiful but simple!

END SCENE

* * *

**Sephiroth: So where was that Export button last night.**

**Me: Zip it Sephy!**

**Sephiroth: Disclamer Love**

**Me: I don't own anything in this story. I don't even own this story really. Father of the Bride was writing by Caroline Francke. I'm just rewriting it cuz I thought the idea was funny.**

**Sephiroth: It's not**

**Me: Ignore him, I do most days.**

**Sephiroth: It's a mutual ignoring.**

**Me: Happy Reading Everyone!**


	2. Act 1 Scene 2

SCENE 2

Yuffie and Reno sit on the couch in the living  
room watching TV. Reno checks his watch.

RENO  
I have to go babe.

YUFFIE  
What?

RENO  
Tseng called a meeting. I think it's for our next  
mission.

YUFFIE  
Can't you stay just a few more minutes?  
(Reno Sighs)  
I love you.

RENO  
Oh why not, it feels like we don't have anytime to  
ourselves anymore.

YUFFIE  
I know! It's like ever since we told everyone we've had  
relatives coming out of the woodworks.  
(Reno laughs)  
It's true...

RENO  
I know

They sat in silence for a moment

RENO  
Babe can I ask you something?

YUFFIE  
Yep anything

RENO  
Well... I can't Yuff.

YUFFIE  
Reno

RENO  
It's just... this isn't going to be a big wedding is  
it?

YUFFIE  
No not at all. Just a lovley little wedding with our  
families and closest friends.

RENO  
So how many are we looking at?

YUFFIE  
I don't know... I haven't even started yet and I'm  
sure...

RENO  
Babe

YUFFIE  
About fifty?

RENO  
Fifty! That's a lot of people.

YUFFIE  
It's just a guess. It'll most likely be less like  
thirty or forty.

RENO  
Yuff raise your right hand.  
(Yuffie rasies her hand)  
I solemnly promise there won't be more than fifty  
people at the wedding.

YUFFIE  
I, Yuffie Leonhart, do solemnly promise that there will  
not be more than fifty people at my wedding to Reno  
Dunston.

Reno laughs as her pulls Yuffie in for a kiss. The  
doorbell rings, startlying them both.

YUFFIE  
Stupid doorbell!

RENO  
Should one of us get that?

YUFFIE  
No, let Garnet get it. I don't what to move.  
(As if on cue Garnet enters the living  
room and goes to the door)

RENO  
Me either.

Garnet opens the door. She is handed a package by  
the deliver boy. She signs for the gift and shuts  
the door as she rushes over to Yuffie and Reno.

GARNET  
Miss Yuffie Miss Yuffie... Look!  
(She shoves the package out at arms  
length)

YUFFIE  
Is that...

GARNET  
A package for you... sent express. Betcha it's a  
wedding present.  
(Yuffie and Garnet both squeal)

YUFFIE  
Oh Reno our first wedding present. Hurry open it! Mommy  
Mommy come quick!

Garnet hands the gift to Reno. He takes out a  
pocket knife and goes to cut the string as Aerith  
enters

AERITH  
What it is Yuffie darling?

YUFFIE  
I wedding gift mommy. Our first.

RENO  
Damn string

YUFFIE  
Oh give it hear!

Yuffie yangs the string off and starts ripping the  
paper.

AERITH  
Be carefull doll, you don't want to break it.

YUFFIE  
Oh mommy  
(she pulls the top off the box. she  
gasp)  
A tray! Isn't it stunning?!

RENO  
Yeah...  
(Garnet starts crying hard and loud)

AERITH  
Garnet what in Gaia's name?

GARNET  
I can't help it Mrs. Leonhart. Everything about  
weddings makes me cry.  
(She crys louder as she makes her way  
back to the kitchen. Reno shakes his  
head as Laguna enters)

AERITH  
Oh Laguna come see.

LAGUNA  
See what?

YUFFIE  
A tray.

AERITH  
Her first present.

LAGUNA  
So

AERITH  
Laguna please.

YUFFIE  
Where should I put it mommy?

AERITH  
Well... guess we best set up the card table now that  
things have started to arrive. Sora had it last I  
think... Sora!

SORA  
What!

AERITH  
Bring down the card table dear.

SORA  
Why!

AERITH  
Just do it Sora! Oh Yuffie dear don't forget the card.

YUFFIE  
Oh!  
(Yuffie looks back in the box and pulls  
out the card)  
It's from cousin Selphie.  
(Sora enters with the card table)

SORA  
You mean little miss useless did something right? What  
is that?

AERITH  
It's your sister's first wedding present and Selphie is  
not uesless.

SORA  
Could have fooled me.  
(He props the table up aginst the wall)

LAGUNA  
This is revenge! You know how many of these things I've  
bought for other people's daughters.

YUFFIE  
Not now daddy.

AERITH  
Write it down in your book dear.

RENO  
What book?

YUFFIE  
My bride's book. I write down all our gifts so I know  
who to thank later.

LAGUNA  
Looks like a Bible. May I?  
(Yuffie pulls the book out of her bag  
and hands it to Laguna)  
'O fortunate, O happy day-When a new household finds  
its place-Among the myriad homes of Gaia

YUFFIE  
Daddy! Don't make fun of my book.  
(She takes it back and begins writing)  
Tray... Cousin Selphie

AERITH  
Describe it Yuffie dear, you may get another tray.

YUFFIE  
Wood...

RENO  
Doodabs corved on the handles...

LAGUNA  
Mahogany.

SORA  
Waste of space.

AERITH  
Sora!

YUFFIE  
There! Number One!

RENO  
Sorry babe, have to go now.  
(Yuffie pouts)  
Don't forget, my folks are expecting you two for dinner  
tonight.

AERITH  
We'll be there

RENO  
See ya yo.

EVERYONE  
Bye  
(Yuffie follows Reno our the door to  
watch him leave)

LAGUNA  
Aerith do we have to go?

AERITH  
Oh please don't start that again. Yes we must go.

LAGUNA  
Alright fine, might as well get it over with.  
(He sits down in his recliner and starts  
rubbing his timples)  
Sora bring me my headache pills.

AERITH  
(To Sora)  
Don't you dare!  
(To Laguna)  
You just took two an hour ago you don't need anymore  
this second.  
(She sets up the card table behind the  
couch)

SORA  
What's got you all uptight?

LAGUNA  
Nothing Sora just get my pills. They're on my desk.  
(Sora exits to Laguna's study)

AERITH  
I don't see what's so awful about meeting Reno's  
parents.  
(Sora returns)  
And it says take two every six hours.  
(She takes the pills for Laguna)

LAGUNA  
You'd think Yuff would pick somebody we know instead of  
a family we've never laid eyes on.  
(He gets up from the recliner and starts  
pacing)  
I know just the kind of people they are. It's going to  
be terrible!

SORA  
(Ploping down on the couch)  
Some of the people we know are pretty terrible too.

AERITH  
Laguna Leonhart! For a grown man you don't make any  
sense sometimes. Why do you assume the Dunstans are so  
terrible?

LAGUNA  
Gut feeling...  
(He snatches the pills out of her hand)

AERITH  
Well your not the one marrying into Reno's family so  
get over it.

LAGUNA  
Might as wll be... I'll probably have to support them.

AERITH  
Laguna... here comes Kay and just were are you going?

LAGUNA  
To get a glass of water.

Laguna exits into the kitchen. Yuffie comes back  
in wiht Squall on her arm.

SQUALL  
So I hear a present arrived while I was out. Where?

YUFFIE  
(Running over to the couch to get the  
tray)  
Here!

SQUALL  
Very... Nice...

YUFFIE  
Mommy where's daddy?

SORA  
Going crazy  
(Squall laughs)  
Well crazier anyway.

AERITH  
He's nervous about tonight. Started one of his  
headaches.

YUFFIE  
Oh no

SORA  
Oh yes

SQUALL  
You'd think he was being presented in Court.

YUFFIE  
But you two should be getting ready...

AERITH  
Don't say anything. I will get him there.

YUFFIE  
They're counting on it.

AERITH  
I know.

SORA  
I don't get it! Suppose they hate him, what of it?

YUFFIE  
They're Reno's parents...

AERITH  
Now don't start that again. Talk about something  
else... anything else.

YUFFIE  
The Wedding!  
(Sora and Squall groan loudly)  
I want it to be a small wedding with an equally small  
reception.

LAGUNA  
(Rentering the living room)  
I was talking to Vincent Valentine the other day... his  
married off four daughters.

AERITH  
So...

LAGUNA  
He said a wedding was either held in the bosom of the  
family... or in Luca Stadium.  
(he pops a pill in his mouth and gulps  
down some of his water)  
Oh! Fortunate, oh happy day!

YUFFIE  
Well mine is neither. It's just going to be mine and  
Reno's close family and friends.

SQUALL  
Guess this means we can't ask any of our friends?  
(Pointing to himself and Sora)

SORA  
Yeah! What am I suppose to say "My sis doesn't want  
you?"

LAGUNA  
All I'm saying is you'll end up with thiry or three  
hundred.

YUFFIE  
Oh you and mom would want it that way. You want  
everyone in town there so you can hear them say "Oh she  
was just too lovely" or "My my what a beautiful dress,  
my dear."

SORA  
You'd hate that wouldn't you?

YUFFIE  
As a matter of fact yes I would. This is my wedding and  
it's going to be small.

LAGUNA  
Oh course, I'm paying for it.

YUFFIE  
Daddy...

AERITH  
Do you think we're going to leave out all out friends  
do you? The Klausers and The Tribals or The Lockharts?

YUFFIE  
Who said we couldn't invite The Lockharts? Tifa is one  
of my best friends. Of course they'd be there, but that  
isn't three hundred.

LAGUNA  
How many did you say would be at the announcement  
party?

SORA  
She said about twenty!

LAGUNA  
And just how many came?

SQUALL  
I counted sixty-four before I gor tired.  
(Laguna exits to his office)

YUFFIE  
That's different!

AERITH  
Now all of you leave her be.

SORA  
It's going to be a rat race all right, and there are  
some people I've just got to ask.

SQUALL  
So long as it's not that dumb duck or that even dumber  
dog.

SORA  
Leave Donald and Goofy alone!

LAGUNA  
(returning to the living room with a  
notepad)  
There! That's the smallest wedding you can have under  
the law- you and Reno and the Reverend Harvey. Anyone  
else?

SQUALL  
Two witness...

LAGUNA  
(writing on the notpad)  
Two witness...

YUFFIE  
This is so childish!

AERITH  
Now Yuffie...

YUFFIE  
Mommy!

AERITH  
(to Laguna)  
Put down the Dunstans and ourselves... Sora and Squall.

SQUALL  
Uncle Garland

SORA  
And Aunt Terra

LAGUNA  
You know what, each of you take a pen and paper. Make a  
minimum list with a totla figure.  
(He hands Sora and Squall a piece of  
paper each)

YUFFIE  
I won't have it! I just won't have it!  
(She runs down the hall and to the base  
of the stairs)  
It's my wedding and I've made my list already!  
(She runs upstairs)

LAGUNA  
Good gods! Aerith what is wrong with her now?

AERITH  
She just nervous.  
(She takes the notepad from him)

SORA  
All women are nervous. Mom I'm making my list in the  
kitchen. I'm hungry...

SQUALL  
And I'm going to change. My list won't be long...  
(both boys head there seprate ways)  
back in five.

LAGUNA  
Three hundred people drinking my champagne...

AERITH  
It won't be half that calm down.

LAGUNA  
Three hundred people eating my food! I'm ruined! You  
don't seem to understand...

AERITH  
Laguna don't fuss.  
(She sets down on the couch andÂ starts  
writing busily)

LAGUNA  
All my life I've been a prudent and thrifty man...

AERITH  
Uh huh...

LAGUNA  
And now the conventions demand that I thake my economic  
life and squeeze it to death with my own hands...

AERITH  
(Contenuing to write, ignoring Laguan  
compleatly.)  
And The Highwinds of course.

LAGUNA  
(Slamming down his pad and pen)  
I won't do it!

AERITH  
Do what?!

LAGUNA  
Buy food and drink for al those people.  
(Aerith rasies and eyebrow at him)  
Only of course I will.

AERITH  
You are making a bigger deal out of it then need be.

LAGUNA  
Well I don't like it, any of it. What do we know about  
Reno? Yuffie walks in one day and says, "This is Reno-  
isn't he cute? I'm going to marry him." We have no idea  
that he has what it takes to support a family? How do  
we know we won't make her perfecly miserable? I didn't  
sleep at all last night.

AERITH  
Funny, you were snoring when I woke up.

LAGUNA  
I have a cold.

AERITH  
You do not.

LAGUNA  
His snatching her out of her home that's what he's  
doing. She still eats and sleeps here, but her spirit  
has moved out.  
(Aerith sighs)  
And I don't care what she says, she's only a child  
barely out of pigtails.

AERITH  
I was younger when we married.

LAGUNA  
I don't understand women. When Yuffie's out at some  
dance you can't sleep till she gets home. But when it's  
a question of whether or not she's going to eat for the  
rest of her life you're calm as a cloud in the sky.

AERITH  
Oh pull it together. The Dunstans are expecting us.  
(she gits up from the couch)

LAGUNA  
And why didn't they invite Yuffie and Reno to this  
dinner?

AERITH  
They thought we'd get to know each other better, just  
the four of us.

LAGUNA  
Oh I get it... They're the cozy type.

AERITH  
Oh for the love of the...

LAGUNA  
That's the kind of people they are.

AERITH  
So what if they are! What in Gaia has gotten into you?

SORA  
(Entering the living room, his mouth  
full of chocolate cake)  
Here's my list.

AERITH  
Sora! Cake before dinner?!

SORA  
I was hungry!

Aerith goes into the kitchen and grabs a napkin.  
She renters as Yuffie comes down the stairs

YUFFIE  
I'm sorry I got all upset before. Here's the bad news  
daddy  
(she turns to Aerith who is fighting  
Sora in an atempt to get the chocolate  
off his face)  
Mommy you really should be going. It's a long drive.

AERITH  
I know dear, but... oh Sora stand still!

SQUALL  
(Coming down the stairs)  
All accounted for.  
(He turns to Aerith who has finaly  
gotten Sora pined down.)  
Mom... haha... I'm taking Rinoa out tonight.

AERITH  
Did you tell Garnet?

SQUALL  
Uhhhhhhhhhhhh...

AERITH  
(Letting Sora go)  
Squall! How many times must I tell you to always tell  
Garnet.

SORA  
(Looking over at Laguna who has passed  
out on the couch)  
Uh mom...

SQUALL  
Sorry mom, I won't forget next time.

SORA  
Mama!

AERITH  
What Sora?!

SORA  
Daddy!

Everyone notices the sleeping Laguna and start to  
panic.

AERITH  
Oh no not now!

YUFFIE  
His passed out!

SQUALL  
Like a ton of bricks...

AERITH  
Sora go get my smelling salts from the bathroom.  
(Sora runs out of the room)  
I told him it said every six hours. I told him!

YUFFIE  
What do we do What do we do What do we do?!

AERITH  
He'll be fine. Squall sit him up please.  
(Squall sits his father up taking a seat  
next to him to hold him up. Once his  
sitting Aerith begins to smack his face)  
Laguna wake up! Right now!

SORA  
(Running back in)  
Here mama

AERITH  
Okay... here we go.

LAGUNA  
(mumbling in his sleep)  
Go... way... tired.

YUFFIE  
Mommy you'll never make it now.

AERITH  
Oh yes we will...

She shoves a pack of smelling salt in each of  
Laguna's nostrals and then pops them. Laguna jumps  
up like a shot knocking Squall into the floor.  
Everyone stands and stares for a moment.

LAGUNA  
(Like nothing happened)  
What are you all doing?

AERITH  
Nothing... Ready to go?

LAGUNA  
Of course I'm ready!

AERITH  
Okay than...  
(she makes her way over to the door and  
takes her pures. Laguna sits back down  
on the couch and looks over the list  
infront of him.)

LAGUNA  
Does anyone what to guess how many names are on this  
list?

AERITH  
(sighing)  
How many?

LAGUNA  
Four hundred and seventy-two...

END SCENE

* * *

**Sephiroth: Are you sure you spelled everything right?**

**Me: No**

**Sephiroth: Then why did you...**

**Me: Don't question... just go with it. Hope you all enjoy this one. I have a lot of editing to do before I even think about writing Act two, so it maybe a while. Happy Reading!**


	3. Postponed

**Me: My Muse hit me like a ton of bricks last night!**

**Muse: Your Welcome**

**Sephiroth: How come your Muse looks like Tom Hiddleston?**

**Me: We're closing in though. I'm going to be writing the last two chapters of "Hannah" this week. **

**Sephiroth: Muse! Make her write more!**

**Muse: I am, just not that story.**

**Me: Yeah Sephy. I've got two others I need to get back to. But I feel like I need to take this one at a time. I'll finish Hannah, then the play, then I'll get back to Devil Trigger. **

**Muse: By the end of the summer you should be finished with all of them.**

**Sephiroth: So long as you don't take off again loser!**

**Me: After that It'll just be Life with Sephy and maybe a Song Challenge or two.**

**Sephiroth: You going to write anymore smut?**

**Me: Yeah... No... No more of that. Anyhoo Happy Reading =^_^=**


End file.
